The Football Widow

While most people are all amped up for football season, getting their fantasy football line ups set & rocking their favorite jersey, I’m in the corner with my football voodoo doll stabbing away…because I HATE football…a lot! You see, from September to February, I am what we call a “football widow.” Sunday is no longer part of the weekend in my house. My husband hibernates down in his man cave from sun up to sun down & only emerges briefly for food. And by brief, I mean he runs upstairs & grabs food from the pantry so fast you would think he’s one of the “Burglar Bunch” kids who just broke into Lindsay Lohan’s house & stole all her shoes.

The morning starts off with him turning on the laptops (yes, plural) & “researching” his players to determine who he’s going to play that day in his fantasy football league…or something like that. I really don’t understand it at all. I mean, is fantasy football the grown up equivalent of Dungeons & Dragons? It’s all make believe, right? During this time, he can’t be interrupted. He’s studying. Making BIG decisions. Huge, even. It’s like he’s unveiled a massive scientific discovery that is going to change the course of the universe or something.

Once all that’s out of the way, the phone calls & text messages with his fantasy buddies commence. “Who’d you pick?” “Who are you playing?” That sorta thing. It’s almost sweet to watch. It’s like my 40+ year old husband turns into a giddy 15 year old girl gossiping about the cute boy in school. Except in this case, the “cute boy” is a massive, burly, grown man kicking the crap out of another equally large man on a really big field. (I’ll never quite understand it)

Finally game time has arrived! The phone lines are open, the Red Zone is on the TV (because it is imperative that he watch every single game at one time) & the computers are booted up & ready to go. The kids & I are upstairs listening to him yell, cheer, swear (it happens) & sometimes even whimper over whatever is happening in the foosball games.

Nothing can be scheduled on Sundays during football season. When I was pregnant with our first daughter I was due 2 days before the Super Bowl…2 days! Do you have any idea on how long I had to hear “you better not go into labor on Super Bowl Sunday?” You better believe I tried EVERYTHING to get myself to go into labor precisely on this day…It didn’t work. She came 6 days late. She’s been a Daddy’s girl since before she was even born.  Both my kids were born during football season which means birthday parties can only be on a Saturday. Any errands have to get done on Saturday, unless I want to brave it & do them myself on Sunday with BOTH kids.

I’ve tried to watch it. I’ve tried to understand it. I won’t lie, football & all its rules just goes way over my head. And I feel like the games are SO long! Like never ending! Basketball is my thing. It’s pretty straight forward. Easy to watch. Easy to follow. But with football, I don’t think I could even name 5 players. I know Tom Brady because he’s married to Giselle. I know Jay Cutler because he’s married to the girl from Laguna Beach. I know Reggie Bush because he dated Kim Kardashian (and in my opinion, was the reason she totally derailed after he broke up with her). You get where I’m going with all this?

So football season has JUST started (please excuse me while I cry). It owns my husband. It owns my weekends. It owns pretty much every single person on my news feed on Facebook. So I guess you win football, you win.

And while you all have your countdowns to football season & countdowns to the Super Bowl, I have my countdown until March going on!

May the best football widow win.

 

P.S. I know how dedicated you football fans are! This post is silly & in fun nature. Please don’t eat me alive! 😉

 

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First Day of Pre-K

My baby had her first day of Pre-K today! We’ve been busy back to school shopping & getting everything ready so I haven’t been on much lately. I’ll try to post a blog this week, but for now enjoy the adorableness of my daughter! 🙂

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Outfit Details:

Top & Faux leather leggings-Modishmini.com

Shoes-Gap

Belt-Carters

Yorkie Necklace-Target

Backpack-Pottery Barn Kids

 

 

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It’s Ok To Punish Your Kids

So this is one of my biggest parenting pet peeves. Why are so many parents out there more concerned with being their childs best friend instead of their actual parent?! You can definitely be both, but you cannot JUST be their best friend. Are these parents afraid of their children? Are they afraid of conflict? Or the almighty temper tantrum? Or is it just what’s easier?

I get it. If there’s a way to avoid the overly dramatic temper tantrum, I’m sure we’d all jump on that bandwagon. I know I would if it didn’t come with a pretty hefty price to pay…aka a pretty out of control child. Some parents would rather give their child whatever they want, whenever they want it, to avoid being the bad guy & having to deal with the screaming and crying, and arguing & fighting. It’s easier to not punish your kid. But here’s what happens when a parent does that.

Children are like sponges, they absorb everything they see & hear almost immediately. And their memories are freaking amazing. My 3 ½ year old reminds me of things I said months ago on a daily basis. But when a parent is constantly giving into their kids, allowing them to get away with murder, they are very quickly going to adapt to that lifestyle & expect it all the time. So in no time at all, you’ve got a very demanding, ill-mannered, & downright rude kid on your hands. And it won’t be just their parents they’re like this for. It’ll eventually become the siblings, the grandparents, the teachers, etc that have to put up with their uncontrolled ways. And then it’s a problem for everyone. It’s a problem for everyone BUT the parents because they are the ones that let it get to this point.

But here’s the part that really drives me nuts…somehow in all this “just do whatever you want” attitude, the people around them are thinking Mom & Dad have their hands full & SOMEHOW take pity on them. So then it becomes “Aww poor So & So. They really have their hands full with that one. Poor things deserve a break.” A break? A break from what? They’ve clearly been on a break This. Whole. Time! But the parents that actually take the time & effort (and it takes A LOT of both) to make sure their kids are behaved, well mannered & polite get no credit what so ever because everyone just thinks we have it easy. We may have it easy now, but it wasn’t smooth sailing to get here.

For me personally, I make absolute sure both my children are well behaved, have manners & know right from wrong. Don’t get me wrong, my kids have had their fair share of melt downs & yes, I’ve given in a few times…but they both know there will be consequences. And a fun filled lecture from me as well. But my kids’ first words, aside from “Dada” (it’s always Dada first, right?) were please & thank you. They know to say please when they ask for something, to say thank you once they’ve gotten something & they know better than to act up in a store, restaurant or someone’s house. They’re kids, so of course they have their slip ups, but I make certain to correct it right away. I will punish them or send them to their room…and when I send them to their room, they do not get to bring an IPad, or video games with them. I have no problem taking away their toys, or turning off their cartoons. We’ve left stores & restaurants abruptly because the girls were misbehaving. Sure, the crying breaks my heart, but in the long run, it’ll so be worth it.

Children are a reflection of their parents. They know what you teach them. They follow your lead. If we don’t teach them to respect us as their parents, how can we expect them to have respect for anyone else? No one wants to play with the “mean kid” on the playground. You don’t want your kid known as the “mean one” right? Parents need to take back their role of disciplinarian so that their kids can grow up to be responsible, respectful adults.

Don’t be afraid to say no, they won’t bite…ok maybe some will, both my kids went through a horrible biting phase, but you catch my drift. Let them throw a fit because in 10 minutes they won’t even remember what they’re mad about.

And with that said, I have to end this rant because my oldest is not sharing her toys with her baby sister…it’s a work in progress, people. A work in progress!!

 

(They were discussing this on the radio this morning & that’s how I got the blog idea. This blog is not intended for any specific person)

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The Liebster Award!

Liebster-Award

Hey Everyone! Exciting news! Thanks to Kristin aka The Perfectionist Mom over at http://momentousmoms.com, my blog has been nominated for a Liebster Award! This is an award that is given by bloggers, to new bloggers with under 200 followers. Which is me!

Kristin, thank you so much for the nomination & taking time out of Mommyhood to check out my blog!

 

Rules

1. Answer the questions given and then come up with 10 new ones to ask your nominations.

2. Nominate 8 other blogs, let them know you have nominated them and put a link to their blog in your post.

3. No Tag backs.

4. Nominations must have under 200 followers.

5. You must tell all the blogs that you nominate that you have nominated them.

Here are the answers to the questions I was asked:

1. Why did you start blogging? I started blogging to keep my sanity

2.Has it turned out to be what you expected? It’s a lot harder than I thought it would be, but I love it. I love getting comments or emails from people telling me my blog has helped them, inspired them, etc.

3. If you could live one day over again, what day would it be? Hmmm…That’s a tough one. I don’t think I would. The past is the past.

4. What is one thing you do to lift your spirits? Snuggle with my babies

5. What is your favorite all time dessert? My mom’s chocolate pecan pie. It’s to die for.

6. Are you a morning person or a night owl? Morning definitely

7. What did you want to be when you grew up? I grew up in Southern California so naturally I wanted to be an actress

8. What beauty product can you not live without? Lipgloss & lipstick (But let’s be real. There’s about a dozen beauty products I can’t live without)

9. What is something you recently learned? Don’t argue with a 3 ½ year old. You won’t win. Ever.

10. Why should people read your blog? (stealing that one but its a good question) Because I want you to!

So there you have it! Now here are my 8 nominations!

http://momonthemoon.com/

http://lifeoftheaveragemom.blogspot.com/

http://www.simplemanssurvivalguide.com (Yay for Daddy bloggers!)

www.mommysgotissues.com

http://www.bugsdirtandmommy.com/

http://mommymakingitright.blogspot.com/

 http://www.invitingpeace.com/

http://whatwouldmymomsay.com/

Here are your 10 questions! Enjoy

  1. What made you start blogging?
  2. What’s one thing you do to clear your head?
  3. What’s your favorite past time?
  4. What’s your favorite thing to do with your kid/kids?
  5. Are you a morning or night person?
  6. Favorite time of the day to blog?
  7. What’s your favorite food?
  8. What are some of your favorite topics to blog about?
  9. What is something that makes you happy?
  10. Were these questions fun?

I hope you all enjoy! And thanks again to The Perfectionist Mom!

 

The High Heeled Mommy

XoXo

Exciting News!

My site High Heeled Mommy is now being featured on Top Mommy Blogs! It’s a super fun site for all things Mommy! Check it out. It’s been like a bible to me for the last year so I was very excited to find out that my blogs will now be on their site! Holla!! 😉

http://www.topmommyblogs.com/pages/index.php

Oh! And make sure to click the fun looking banner at the bottom of this to keep me lookin’ good on this most awesome site! 🙂

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Depression Is Not Taboo

Let me first start by saying I’m not an expert in this matter. I’m not a doctor or trained psychiatrist. Everything I say is my own thoughts, opinions & personal experiences.

 

Last night the entire world was knocked down to their knees. An icon that most of us grew up watching finally lost his battle to a life long struggle with depression. He was 63 years old, had millions of dollars, all the fame in the world & a loving family. To most of us, we’d all say he had everything, right? Wrong. On the inside he was the complete opposite of the characters we all knew & loved. He was anything but happy & goofy. And that’s what happens when you suffer from depression or any mental illness for that matter…someone suffering looks just like the rest of us. And I think that’s why so many people have a hard time understanding depression. They expect the person to look sick & since they don’t then obviously this illness can’t be that serious. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of American, 40 million adults suffer from anxiety in the United States. Major depressive disorder is the leading disability in the county, effecting 14.8 million people. I’m not going to compare the statistics of other serious illnesses because I’m not trying to take anything away from them, I’m just focusing on this one serious illness. But yes, the numbers do beat out some other major diseases. So with it being so huge, why do people still refuse to consider it to be a “real” illness? Why won’t insurance companies provide better (and ANY in some cases) coverage for people battling this day in & day out?

For me personally, I know more people that currently take an antidepressant than not. All these people look like the rest of us. They all get up everything morning & go to work. All while silently dying inside. People suffering from other sicknesses, & again I’m not going to name any, have days where they are too sick from treatments or medicines. Or they are too weak to get out of bed. So they call into work sick. If someone were to call into their job & say “I’m really depressed today, I can’t make it in” they’d lose their job. Depression doesn’t come with treatments that make it go away. There are medicines of course that can help CONTROL it, but it’ll never go away. It will be a constant battle for that person every single day for the rest of their lives. There’s no remission. There’s no cure.

I went through horrible post partum depression after my second daughter was born. Thankfully it only lasted a year which is the norm for PPD, but it was the worst, hardest & longest year of my life. I was sad, depressed, anxious, alone (even though I wasn’t), lost, empty…dead. Completely dead inside. There truly is no way of explaining the magnitude of it unless you go through it yourself & see it firsthand. To try & bring a little insight to you, mine was so severe the doctors have all advised that I don’t have any more children because PPD comes back with each pregnancy & gets worse & worse. I remember looking at my 2 beautiful, perfect little girls, the life I have, the house I live in, my wonderful family & friends, & still thinking I’d rather die than feel this way. I’d rather leave all this behind just to make this horrible feeling end. Thankfully I stuck it out (trust me, it wasn’t easy), took medicine & prayed for it to work. It did eventually. The loneliness, sadness, etc all eventually went away, but not before being diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from it all. I’m now almost 4 months medicine free & feeling great. Don’t get me wrong, I still have some down & “blah” days as I like to call them. But I’m only human.

At first I was embarrassed to tell anyone what was going on with me & most people didn’t know how to handle it. My husband took it the hardest. He didn’t know what to do or say or how to approach the situation at all. After some time I realized there is nothing to be embarrassed about. I didn’t choose this. There was nothing I did that brought it on. It’s a chemical imbalance in your brain.

2 weeks before Robin Williams killed myself, he posted a throwback picture of him & his youngest baby on Twitter. It was in honor of her 25th birthday. He clearly was a man that loved his 3 children. But even the thought of never seeing them again, or them seeing their dad again could help him. His disease was bigger than him. Like a good friend of mine puts it, “you better pray that your demons inside never awake, because once they do…good luck.” Depression is not something you have control over. The most important thing is that if you’re sad you need to tell someone immediately. Don’t be embarrassed or ashamed. This is an illness, not a character flaw.

Don’t tell someone who is depressed to “smile” or “think happy thoughts.” And never tell them to “snap out of it.” It’s not like a light switch that can be shut off & on any time we feel. Trust me, we would love to smile & think happy thoughts, but it is physically impossible when someone is in the middle of a depressive episode. Hopefully losing Mrs. Doubtfire will open peoples eye into this disease.

“Genie. You’re free.”

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Surviving the age of 3…Good Luck

*WARNING: You may not survive the age of 3. Use extreme caution when going head to head with a 3 year old!*

Now that that’s out of the way, let me start by saying (screaming) WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY SWEET PRECIOUS CHILD?! Three is just not a normal age…at least not for us moms! MY 3 year old seems to love being three. Yelling at me, barking orders at me, getting WHATEVER she wants because at this point I’m terrified if I say no to her, her head might start to spin! Seriously, how do things change SO damn drastically from two to three? It’s a YEAR! They go from helpless little toddlers needing their moms to help them function, to demonic 3 foot robots that have you under their full command 24/7!

I love when I hear people say “I’m terrified of the terrible two’s!” HA! Bitch, please! Two is a walk in the park…a unicorn that spits rainbows, even! Be afraid of three…Be VERY afraid!

Sophia turned 3 & THAT day it was like something had taken over her body. She gained a whole new vocabulary of pure sass. She calls me Jessica now instead of her sweet “Mama” that once melted my heart. She tells me to “back off” when I’m “annoying” her. Annoying you? How do you even know what that means? And I’m allowed to annoy you, damn it. I’m your mom! Forget naps at this age. It’s a battle you will not win! And yes, they will get tired come the end of the day, but they will still refuse to nap no matter what. Do you know what it’s like dealing with an overtired 3 year old?! HOLY HELL.

Then there’s the tantrums. When they’re two, they may whine & cry when they are pissed off. When they’re three, they melt down into a hot mess of psychotic. You will legit worry they may be possessed. Seriously, they will scream so loud that the noises become disturbing. They will turn red then purple & you’ll begin to worry they are going to pass out from lack of oxygen. Hitting! Hitting now occurs as well. It’s a hell of a good time when your 3 year old walks up & whales you…

These tantrums happen anywhere. Children have no shame. They don’t care where they are or who’s watching. Do you think they care that they are embarrassing YOU? No, definitely not! I’m so used to them happening in stores now (when she demands I buy her something) that I just look at the people staring at us in pure horror & inform them that “She’s 3.” Most of the woman around totally get it at that point & offer a sympathetic “I’ve been there.” One lady once told me it continues to the age of 17. I kind of wanted to knock her out. Thanks for the encouragement, lady!

I still have EIGHT freaking months to go before we get to four. Pray for me. Please.

 

Here are my top 10 reasons why THREE is worse than TWO!

1. At 2, they still can’t talk that much. At 3, they have a better vocabulary than most adults & never stop talking.

2. At 2, they whine a lot. At 3, they have level 3 explosive tantrums that are truly horrifying.

3. At 2, they want you to help them with everything. At 3, they don’t want your help with anything. They can do it all themselves…

4. At 2, they listen to you. You ask them to pick up the toy they just threw & they put their head down, pout & pick it up. At 3, they will whip that thing right at your head then tell you to back off.

5. At 2, they don’t know gross. At 3, they pick their nose, their butt, their ears…No shame.

6. At 2, you can change their diapers when you notice it’s full. At 3, you’re constantly following their frequent potty trips. You get used to public bathrooms REAL quick.

7. At 2, they will still allow you to put them in the shopping cart when you run errands. At 3, THERE IS NO RUNNING ERRANDS WITH A 3 YEAR OLD!!!

8. At 2, you wonder what their next new discovery will be. At 3, you FEAR which swear word they will pick up & yell in public.

9. At 2, you can get them to eat whatever you put in front of them. At 3, they will eat a handle of foods, none of which are healthy. And prepare for a battle if you try to tell them they can’t eat a popsicle for breakfast or cookies for dinner.

10. At 2, you can get away with bribing & manipulation. At 3, you can’t. They will laugh at you if you try. They own you. Just accept it.

 

get-attachment (2) Sophia (obviously 3) didn’t need my help when using the markers…

 

This is WAY harder than I thought!

So it’s been 3 months since my last (and only) post. I assumed I would be spitting blogs out left & right…how hard could it be to sit down & write whatever comes to mind?! HA! This shit is impossible when you have a 3 year old & 18 month old pulling on your legs as you try to sit down. I swear the second you look busy they come up with a thousand questions & demands that need attending to right this second…”Mom, can I have a snack? Mom, can you get me a drink? Mommy, I need to go potty! Mommy, what was that noise? Mommy, look at this.” The list goes on & on…and on.

Today I was able to get the baby down for a morning nap & after complete destruction of my house (that was professionally cleaned YESTERDAY), I made my 3 year old go down in the basement (don’t worry, it’s a playroom, not a dungeon) to make a mess & be loud down there. Now I have probably 12 minutes to sit, drink my second coffee of the day (it’s one of those days) & type. Who knew blogging could be so hard? I look at some of these mom blogs out there & see their 100’s of blogs, almost updated on a daily basis. How do you do it? Where do you put your children? Please, teach me your ways!!

Anyway, my plan is to blog more. Well, I’m going to try. If my little minion army allows me. But for now, my 12 minutes is up (I think it was more like 8), the 3 year old “needs” me to clean her chalk board & the baby is waking up for her oh so long 40 minute nap.

I’ll be back…eventually!

 

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What I’ve Learned From Having Kids

What I’ve Learned From Having Kid

   First off, you learn VERY quickly it’s hard work. Like run a full marathon then immediately climb Mount Everest, hard. Some days are smooth sailing, other days will absolutely suck. And it’s ok to say it. Being a mother can suck sometimes. You have to watch your kids be sick or get hurt & that sucks. You wish you could take away their pain, but you can’t. You have to watch them get their feelings hurt & that sucks too, especially if it’s YOU hurting their feelings, but it’s necessary from time to time. “You just pushed your sister down & made her cry, so now I have to yell & punish you”, which of course will make them upset, but unless you want your kids to turn out like self entitled little brats, being the bad guy every now & then is essential. And it’s ok. They’ll forgive you probably quicker than you’ll forgive yourself.

            Another thing I’ve learned is that you will repeat yourself so many times in one day you will begin to question your own sanity. “Am I talking to a wall?” “Does anyone listen to me?” “Why do I even bother?” Well, yes you are basically talking to a wall & no, chances are they are not listening to you. Not until you tell them you have ice cream or cookies, and then they never miss a syllable…My children must get their selective hearing from their father. Some days I think my 3 year old ignores me as a way to push my buttons…she’s really, REALLY good at it. Then I stop & look at her & realize maybe she’s not intentionally ignoring me. She’s 3. She’s learning new vocabulary, learning how to count past 20, figuring out the world for herself. She’s too busy to hear me. Her mind is full of a million different things right now. So I try to pick my battles.

And yes, your kid WILL be THAT kid in a store or restaurant that is screaming…throwing a fit as if they were being possessed. And chances are, at some point you might even pretend like you have no clue who these children belong to. They will kick & scream as you try to get them to calm down, or even scream “Mommy, don’t pull my hair. That’s mean” when you weren’t anywhere near them, but it makes everyone in the store grab their phones from their pockets ready to call DSS on you. (yes, my 3 year old pulled the hair thing with me in a very busy Target once). They will push your buttons in every way possible again & again.

You will no longer spend hours a day glamming yourself up. You’ll be lucky to get a shower in AND dry your hair. Your gorgeous stilettos will start to collect dust in your closet because you can’t chase a kid in 6 inch heels. And yes, you will constantly be chasing them. Keeping them from running off in the opposite direction in a store, or keeping them from eating the dog food (both my kids), keeping them from climbing the furniture…you get the picture. Invest in some flat comfy shoes & save the fancy ones for date night with hubby…if & when you actually get one because those will also be a thing of the past.

You won’t see your friends as much anymore, especially the ones without kids. Your own children are now your best friends. Eventually you’ll have more inside jokes with your toddler than you will your girlfriends. You may also find yourself trading in your sports car for a much more “family friendly” vehicle. I’ve always said I wouldn’t be that mom that drives a mini van…and I still don’t. I have however upgraded to a big SUV that fits carseats, diaper bags, groceries, & the dogs all at once. I’ll be honest though, I find myself getting a little jealous of the Moms driving those mini vans. Have you seen those things lately? The doors SLIDE open with just the push of a button! And most come equipped with built in TV’s (you will also learn that those are a staple in the car, trust me).

Even though it may seem like motherhood sucks ass some days, you very quickly learn it’s the worst kind of suck in the world. Messy hair, no make up, orthopedic shoes, & mini vans aside, being a Mom is the greatest, most rewarding experience ever. You learn that shit happens (literally), things spill…everywhere, but it can be cleaned up. They will draw all over the walls & be so proud of it, all you need is some white toothpaste & it’ll come off in seconds (you learn lots of little tricks like that along the way). They will break your favorite picture frame, but I promise the memories in that picture are way more important than a broken piece of glass. Your house will be a mess, dishes will fill the sink even if you have a dishwasher & the laundry will literally begin to form its own mountain, BUT that’s ok, that just means you’re busy being a good Mom. It’s ok to go in the bathroom & cry for 5 minutes when you’re really stressed out. It’s ok to go an extra day & skip tub time. It’s ok to order pizza because you don’t feel like cooking & I can guarantee you that at some point your “mom car” will find its way in the drive thru at a fast food joint. And when your kid swears for the first time, it will be funny. Not something we’d like to repeat, but funny.

What I’ve learned from being a Mom is that most of what I’ve learned is actually from my kids. They’ve taught me a love I never knew existed. They’ve taught me patience that would put a saint down. But most importantly, they’ve taught me that even in my most frazzled, stressed out, smeared make up state, I am still loved & needed 110%. Without ME they wouldn’t be able to do much. Without ME they wouldn’t have the crayons to write on the walls, the cookies to hide under the couch cushions, or the toys to throw at their younger sibling. Without me there is no them…But without them I would be absolutely nothing & that is the most important thing I’ve learned from having kids.