Category: Blog

What Happens When You’re Done Having Kids

Baby fever. We all get it from time to time. That urge, that excitement, that feeling of “I want another one.” You grab your spouses arm, “Honey, look! Look at that cute little baby! Let’s have another one!” It happens, usually briefly, after seeing an adorable little baby. But it usually disappears as quickly as it came on. You see the cute baby, get all the feels, then continue about with your business and just like that, it’s gone. You’re over it. Not even thinking about it anymore. You’ve probably already forgotten all about that babbling little drool bag by now.

But what happens when it’s more than just baby fever? What happens when you & your signif other have already decided not to have anymore babies? What happens if you change your mind? And now you really want another baby? What happens now?

As most people already know, after having Miss Emma (Baby #2) I had really, really, really, bad post partum depression (I had it was Baby #1 as well, but nowhere near as bad). I was told by my doctors that if I had another baby I was pretty much guaranteed to have post partum again…and it would more than likely be WORSE this time. Apparently, post partum tends to intensify with each pregnancy. Of course there are precautions we could take. I was given 3 options. We could start me on a “safe” antidepressant during the third trimester (not so sure about this one) or I would be “fed” antidepressants the moment I delivered as a way to get in front of the demon & option #3, & this was the one my doctor strongly recommended, don’t have anymore children.

At the time, it was a no brainer. Option #3 of course. I never ever (ever ever ever ever ever) wanted to go through that shit again. I never wanted to feel that way again. No way in hell. We had 2 beautiful, healthy, beyond amazing kids. I thought I was good. Plus my husband is a bit older than me (he’d kill me if I told you his age, but the decade he is closest to is not 40). So we decided we weren’t going to have anymore kids…and he got a vasectomy.

So here we are about a year & a half post ball snip & I want another baby. It started as reoccurring baby fever. It started happening more & more, lasting longer & longer. I figured it was just a phase & it would eventually go away. But it hasn’t. In fact, it’s gotten worse. I have days where I can’t even see a baby without fighting back tears. And now that BOTH of my babies are in school full time, it sucks. Maybe I’m still just adjusting (heavily) to this change of no longer having my girls at home. Maybe it’s the thought that my stay at home mom days are done because well…no ones home during the day anymore. Whatever it is, I hate it.

I’m only 34 (in November). I love being a mom. I love babies. I love having a family. I beat post partum…twice, I can beat it a third time. Vasectomies can be reversed & I can assure you I’ve done ALL the research on this. My husband & I have talked about it. He’d love to have another baby…if he were younger & if he didn’t have to deal with the process of another invasive procedure…down there. And part of me gets it. But part of me also wants to throat punch him.

So how does one get over this? I can’t really be done with being a mom. And yes, I know I am nowhere near being done as a mom, my kids are 4 & 6…and a moms job is never done. But I’ll never be pregnant again. I’ll never go through the excitement of waiting for baby to arrive. And the thrill of bringing baby home for the first time. That newborn smell will never again be from my own baby. It’ll be from the friends/families brand new baby when I go see them for the first time. I’ll never have to set up a crib & nursery again. It was hard enough when we no longer had to buy diapers for the house anymore.

I find myself getting angry when I hear someone is pregnant. I should be happy, I know. And part of me is, I swear. Having a baby is amazing & I love that people get to experience the happiness that I’ve felt with my own two baby girls. But there is definitely a void. And I don’t know how to handle it. Not yet at least. I was so sure I was done…or so I thought. But man, making that decision is apparently a lot harder than I thought…and common. Just do a Google search.

So will this feeling go away? Or will I just carry this with me until I’m too old to even have babies? And no, it’s not just the “pregnancy part” I miss. Pregnancy was not good to me…either time. I had morning sickness from sun up until sun down all 9 months. I gained a ton of weight. I swell everywhere. And while most people have monthly, then bi-weekly, then weekly appointments, I basically had weekly appointments the entire time with stress tests, 24 hour urine catches, & lab work being done every single week starting at week 30 because of my blood pressure. Trust me, pregnancy sucks for me. So even with all that, why do I still want it?

Is this where I start adopting cat after cat, because I don’t like cats. We already got a puppy & the girls are getting a guinea pig for Christmas (shhh, don’t tell), maybe that will help a little? Maybe I should look into sperm donors. Hey, you never know. What I do know is that it goes by fast & normally I looooathe when people say that to me, but it’s true. So unbelievably true. So I’m just going to scoop up all the snuggles I can with my babies while they’re still small enough for my lap.

Then I’ll just adopt a bunch of dogs 😛

 

 

Fashion Favorites Friday

It’s Monday, I know. It was a busy weekend. Here are a few of our favorite looks from last week!

Emma in The Children’s Place dress & shoes
Sophia on the left wearing an Old Navy dress & Just Fab Kids boots. Emma right is wearing Janie & Jack dress & Old Navy shoes
Emma’s sweatshirt & leggings are Cat & Jack from Target. Boots from The Children’s Place.
Abercrombie Kids jeans, Old Navy top & Cat & Jack jacket from Target. Boots from The Childrens Place.

Shopping Like a Fashion Editor On a Budget

This morning I saw a segment on Rachael Ray about shopping like a fashion editor on a budget. She had Zanna Roberts Rassi, Senior Fashion Editor at Marie Claire head to Target to pick out an entire outfit (SHOES, too!) with nothing more than a $100 bill. That’s it. So she had no choice but to stay within that. She was actually able to put together a really cute outfit, top, pants, statement jacket & shoes for $98.97! (Here’s the link to the video) https://www.rachaelrayshow.com/lifestyle/25695_how_to_shop_for_clothes_on_a_budget/

Now anyone from my family reading this is probably thinking this is a joke because me & the term “budget” don’t get along very well. I am notorious for overspending. For example, last week I went to the Bruno Mars concert at the Boston Garden (great show! The hangover lasted a day & a half) so I wanted to get something new & fresh to wear to it. I told my husband that I was running out to find a new shirt for the show. Since it was the night before (I tend to be last minute) I figured I’d try my luck at TJ Maxx (I always seem to forget this store) because we have one in town. Well long story short, I went in for a cute new top& came out with 2 cute tops, an AMAZING chunky sweater, a new pair of jeans & some earrings. Over spending at it’s finest, people! But I pretty much broke every rule that I learned on the Rachael Ray segment, so here are some tips on how to stay within budget & still be able to look fabulous. 

  1. Set a budget. This was kind of obvious, right? If you’re only looking for a shirt then budget for JUST that. 
  2. Bring cash. NO debit cards or credit cards. This is where I fall victim every time because I never carry cash on me. But think about it, when we have our credit cards on us, it’s so easy to just swipe away & not pay much attention to the cost. If you only have cash you obviously have no choice but to spend within the amount you have…even if you really want those perfect fitting jeans in a different color. 
  3. Find something you like/love (especially if it’s on clearance) that you know you will wear at least 5 different ways on 5 different occasions. If you can’t, don’t buy it. This is another tip I could learn from. I tend to have an issue wearing the same thing more than a few times.

So there you have it! Shopping like a fashion editor on a budget & it doesn’t actually seem too hard! We’ve all learned something here today. Now I have to go convince my husband that I need to go shopping to try out this new method…you know, for research purposes of course. 

Happy Shopping!

 

 

“Class Mom” Wins Class Clown

 

I was getting ready one morning & turned he tv on in the bedroom for background noise. It was on the Hallmark channel from the night before as I watch reruns of The Golden Girls every.single.night when I get into bed. Anyway, it was on a talk show type called Family & Garden…or Home & Family. Garden Home Family? I really don’t remember, but on this episode they were interviewing Gelman’s wife (you know, the producer of Kelly & Whoever-The-Hell-Is-Hosting-This-Week). She just published her first book, “Class Mom,” & while it’s fiction, it’s also based off the “5 soul sucking years” she spent as class mom for her son’s class. I’m not a big reader (I like it, I just never have time to sit & read…or sit in general), but this one had me intrigued. I immediately jumped onto Amazon (Amazon Smile of course for my daughters elementary school) & ordered it. 

First off, I should tell you I’m part of the PTO at my daughters school. I help in her class room (twice a week. TWICE), chaperone field trips, hell I even helped put together this year’s back to school carnival. I know, this is all very shocking considering…well, it’s me. I swear like a truck driver (which I have learned to tone back on when kids are around), I’ve never really gotten along much with other females (although the older I get, the more this is changing. Mommy friends are actually super fun to have). And I’ve generally just never liked other children (relax, I’m getting much better with this). But here I am, a PTO, classroom helping, kick ass, super mom…WITH mom friends. 

Thank God for Prime because the book arrived the next day! I decided I was having a do-nothing-but-read day. Let me just tell you all…I read that whole damn book by the time I had to get the girls from school THAT afternoon! I could NOT put it down. It was friggin’ hilarious!! I was legit laughing out loud throughout most of the book. If you’ve ever helped with the PTO or in your kids class, or just been on the email chain of the other parents from school, you will relate! Or maybe you won’t. Maybe you’re one of those people who refuse to be a “parenteer” (read the book & that word will make sense). Just do yourself a favor & get this book.  

 

Oh, & get yourself some mom pals too! 

 

 

Splurge vs. Steal

Y’alllll this one is CRAZY true! A friend of mine who works in the make up industry told me this one. I used Smashbox primer for years but it’s another one of those prestige beauty brands that’s sold in stores like Ulta & Spehora. Neither of which I had near me so it was always a pain in the ass to get it. Then one day I was given one of the best & my all time favorite beauty secrets…Monistat’s chafing powder gel has the EXACT SAME ingredients as Smashbox primer. I know, I know, it sounds insane…and kinda gross. We generally think of one thing when we hear the brand Monistat & it’s far from the face. 

I totally didn’t believe what I was told so I brought my Smashbox to Rite Aid (it was the only store near me that had it in stock) & compared the list of ingredients. I shit you not, minus a few added fragrance ingredients & one for shelf life in the Smashbox, everything else was the same! Naturally I bought it…I had to try!

Not only was the color, consistency, texture totally the same, I actually thought it worked BETTER than the Smashbox! No joke. It filled in pores, made my skin feel like a baby’s bottom, & made my makeup glide on. Plus my make up lasted all day. I was never fully convinced my make up lasted all day with the Smashbox, I just liked the way it made my face look. But this stuff was waaaaay better! The only issue I had with it was that it’s hard to find without having to order it online! A lot of stores don’t seem to carry it or keep a lot of it in stock. I got tired of searching & I would always forget to order it so I eventually moved onto a new primer, but I swear by this beauty hack! Try it! 

Winner: Steal! 

Splurge vs. Steal

 

I’ve tried this one & E.L.F. is by far so much better! Nars didn’t seem to last as long & it it goes on really dark if you aren’t super light in applying. The E.L.F. stays on all day. Plus, you can only get Nars at Nars counters in a mall or beauty stores like Ulta or Sephora. You can pick up E.L.F. at Target & if you’re anything like me, you’re already at Target multiple times a week. AND it’s only $4!

Winner: Steal wins!

5 Easiest Solutions for Arts & Crafts With Kids

 

  1. Don’t use glitter
  2. Don’t use glitter
  3. Don’t use glitter
  4. Don’t use glitter
  5. Don’t use glitter

It’s as simple as that.

Why do kids love glitter so freaking much? They act like they cannot complete any arts & crafts project without dumping an entire jar of glitter on top. The more the better. But that shit goes EVERYWHERE. All over the table, all over the chairs, all over the floor, and if your house is entirely hardwood like mine, glitter gets trapped in between every piece of wood. You have to get down on your hands & knees with a toothpick and pick it out. Somehow even the dog gets glitter all over him. It’s on their clothes, in their hair & eventually one starts screaming because they got it in their damn eyes (Fun story: I ended up in the ER with a scratched cornea from glitter eye shadow (it was the 90’s) when I was a teenager. That crap was painful as hell). Whatever they touch gets glitter on it. “Hey Mom, I have to go wash my hands!” Great, now the sink & the faucet are covered. Use your damn feet next time.

Sure the glitter makes things look all colorful & sparkly, but have you ever noticed eventually it starts falling off? I’m the mom that likes to hang up my kids artwork around the house, but I could do without the little pools of glitter that begin to accumulate on the floor underneath their adorable masterpieces.

Seriously, what’s wrong with stickers? Or good old fashioned markers & crayons? All of which we have millions of in the house. Hell, I’m even ok with paint, but Mommy’s OCD simply cannot handle glitter. So if you are looking for fun & easy art ideas for your kids, leave the glitter where it belongs…on the shelf at Michaels.

 

P.S. I also f*cking hate sand art!! But that’s for another post.

 

 

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First Day of First Grade!

Sophia’s first day of first grade was a success! She loves her new teacher & had a blast! Hopefully she still loves school as much when she’s a teenager.

 

 

These super cute school signs were made by Little Mountain Top on Etsy!https://www.etsy.com/shop/LittleMountainTop?ref=l2-shopheader-name

What’s Your “Expensive But Worth It” Product?

I saw this posted on Facebook and I thought it was a good idea for a blog post. First off, I have to make sure my husband does not read this one. Second, after reading some of the comments on that Facebook post, saying “my children” does not count. Yea, yea, we get it. You love your kids & yes, they are expensive but they don’t count.

So after I saw the post I instantly started thinking about what I would consider my “expensive but totally worth it product” and I realized I have a FEW (My husband better not read this)! All of my skin care & most of my make up would be part of this list.

But I don’t want to bore you so I’ll stick with one. So for me, my expensive but absolutely, totally worth every penny is the Estee Lauder Advanced Night Repair Intensive Recovery Ampoules. It’s $112 for 60 ampoules and it can last you anywhere from a month to a few months depending on how often you use it. You don’t use it nightly so they tend to last a bit. But these little capsules are seriously a godsend for your skin & absolutely worth every penny.

Now what’s yours?!

https://www.esteelauder.com/product/681/39648/product-catalog/skincare/advanced-night-repair/intensive-recovery-ampoules