Can Ex’s Really Stay Friends?

So this topic comes up from time to time for everyone. It’s always been a debate people tend to feel really strongly about. Can ex’s really stay friends? Some people think it’s ok, some say it depends, & others say there is absolutely no way. But why? And what constitutes an ex? Because if you’re counting the boy you dated at recess for 45 mins in the third grade, that doesn’t really count in my book. I mean, do you count the person you were “going out with” at the Friday night school dances when you were 14? To me, the statute of limitations is up there.

I’m friends with the majority of my exes…or at least friendly with. And people always ask me why. Or they ask my husband is he thinks that’s weird. Some times I don’t really understand it. We all have a past, right? I mean, there is absolutely no attraction there of course. They’ve just always remained a friend (some requiring a cooling off period at first). But I don’t really consider the boy I dated in eighth grade as an ex at this point. When you’re a kid, does that really count? Obviously there are going to be some circumstances that may prove otherwise, but I feel like the boys you “dated” as a pre-teen don’t count (Note to my children: you are not allowed to date even as a pre-teen).

I’m friends with almost all of my exes on Facebook & if I saw them in public I wouldn’t hide behind a rack & pretend they were invisible (ok, there may be like 1 or 2 exes I would hide from…or run over with my car). However, I do understand where people have a bit of a harder time staying friends with an ex after a serious, long-term relationship as an adult (or at least over the age of 16ish), but I still think it can be doable. Two of my exes that I had the biggest/longest relationships with are two of my closest friends to this day. Don’t get me wrong, there was definitely a period of silence between us for a little while after the breakup but then eventually we got over it, moved on & became friends.

Yes I’ve heard “if you can stay friends with an ex then you were never really in love” but I don’t agree with that. Maybe at the time, you did love that person. Maybe at that time it was the right person for you & the right situation. But like most things, things change. People change. At one point in time he or she was right for you at that time, but clearly it wasn’t meant to be a forever thing. If you can remain friends, it just shows that you both were mature enough to realize you weren’t meant to be together. 

Like anything, there is always exceptions to the rules. If there was cheating or abuse then absolutely there is no way in hell…because I would have killed them. And yes, I’m sure the majority of the time, most people can’t be friends with an ex, but I don’t think it’s completely out of the question. Or maybe I’m just a forgiving person (Ha, yea right). 

What are you thoughts? How many of you are still friends with an ex?


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