Dear Target, I Love You

What is it with you?! I cannot walk into your stores without spending at least $100. I go in for specific things. THAT’S ALL! I go in with a goal-grab what I need & go, but every time I come out of you with so much other random shit I didn’t know I *totally* needed. I mean, my house really did need that 500th candle. And all those cute coffee mugs…I love coffee so it’s not like it’ll go to waste. And a girl can never have too many lipsticks & lip glosses…or nail polishes…or silly screen print tees letting the world know I love tacos & mojitos…or comfy cardigans that go with everything. Did I need that pink stapler? I didn’t think I did, but you proved me wrong. And don’t even get me started on your Cat & Jack kids line. I’m obsessed! You speak directly to my soul. You hit the spot, every time. Every. Single. Time.

And don’t think you were fooling anyone when you started putting Starbucks in your stores. Giving unattended soccer moms full range of the store, locked & loaded with a Red Card & CartWheel app while high on espresso beans…the possibilities are endless. Well played. 

You get me. You truly get me. I don’t have the time or the energy to run from store to store getting what I need, so here you are housing everything I need under one roof. If I need laundry detergent, a sundress, a hammer & a gingerbread latte-you’ve got me covered.

Your Dollar Spot touches my spot…🙋 I may not need the cute little chalkboards for an herb garden considering I don’t even have an herb garden, but hey, at least I know you’ve got my back in case I ever decide to start one. 

 

I swear you’re pumping stuff through those vents but I don’t mind one bit. You keep putting out those shabby-chic-neutral-palate-with-a-subtle-pop-of-color home decor items, I’ll keep showing up. I’ll never abandon you because you have never abandoned me. When I need a new shower curtain, aisle C9. When I’m PMS’ing, you’ve got all the chocolate. When I need a last minute present for that birthday party I forgot all about, you’re loaded up with Legos & Hatchimals.

Now if you started selling wine in your stores I would leave my husband for you because that’s how much you mean to me. 

 

 

 

 

 

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