Month: August 2014

It’s Ok To Punish Your Kids

So this is one of my biggest parenting pet peeves. Why are so many parents out there more concerned with being their childs best friend instead of their actual parent?! You can definitely be both, but you cannot JUST be their best friend. Are these parents afraid of their children? Are they afraid of conflict? Or the almighty temper tantrum? Or is it just what’s easier?

I get it. If there’s a way to avoid the overly dramatic temper tantrum, I’m sure we’d all jump on that bandwagon. I know I would if it didn’t come with a pretty hefty price to pay…aka a pretty out of control child. Some parents would rather give their child whatever they want, whenever they want it, to avoid being the bad guy & having to deal with the screaming and crying, and arguing & fighting. It’s easier to not punish your kid. But here’s what happens when a parent does that.

Children are like sponges, they absorb everything they see & hear almost immediately. And their memories are freaking amazing. My 3 ½ year old reminds me of things I said months ago on a daily basis. But when a parent is constantly giving into their kids, allowing them to get away with murder, they are very quickly going to adapt to that lifestyle & expect it all the time. So in no time at all, you’ve got a very demanding, ill-mannered, & downright rude kid on your hands. And it won’t be just their parents they’re like this for. It’ll eventually become the siblings, the grandparents, the teachers, etc that have to put up with their uncontrolled ways. And then it’s a problem for everyone. It’s a problem for everyone BUT the parents because they are the ones that let it get to this point.

But here’s the part that really drives me nuts…somehow in all this “just do whatever you want” attitude, the people around them are thinking Mom & Dad have their hands full & SOMEHOW take pity on them. So then it becomes “Aww poor So & So. They really have their hands full with that one. Poor things deserve a break.” A break? A break from what? They’ve clearly been on a break This. Whole. Time! But the parents that actually take the time & effort (and it takes A LOT of both) to make sure their kids are behaved, well mannered & polite get no credit what so ever because everyone just thinks we have it easy. We may have it easy now, but it wasn’t smooth sailing to get here.

For me personally, I make absolute sure both my children are well behaved, have manners & know right from wrong. Don’t get me wrong, my kids have had their fair share of melt downs & yes, I’ve given in a few times…but they both know there will be consequences. And a fun filled lecture from me as well. But my kids’ first words, aside from “Dada” (it’s always Dada first, right?) were please & thank you. They know to say please when they ask for something, to say thank you once they’ve gotten something & they know better than to act up in a store, restaurant or someone’s house. They’re kids, so of course they have their slip ups, but I make certain to correct it right away. I will punish them or send them to their room…and when I send them to their room, they do not get to bring an IPad, or video games with them. I have no problem taking away their toys, or turning off their cartoons. We’ve left stores & restaurants abruptly because the girls were misbehaving. Sure, the crying breaks my heart, but in the long run, it’ll so be worth it.

Children are a reflection of their parents. They know what you teach them. They follow your lead. If we don’t teach them to respect us as their parents, how can we expect them to have respect for anyone else? No one wants to play with the “mean kid” on the playground. You don’t want your kid known as the “mean one” right? Parents need to take back their role of disciplinarian so that their kids can grow up to be responsible, respectful adults.

Don’t be afraid to say no, they won’t bite…ok maybe some will, both my kids went through a horrible biting phase, but you catch my drift. Let them throw a fit because in 10 minutes they won’t even remember what they’re mad about.

And with that said, I have to end this rant because my oldest is not sharing her toys with her baby sister…it’s a work in progress, people. A work in progress!!

 

(They were discussing this on the radio this morning & that’s how I got the blog idea. This blog is not intended for any specific person)

If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers

The Liebster Award!

Liebster-Award

Hey Everyone! Exciting news! Thanks to Kristin aka The Perfectionist Mom over at http://momentousmoms.com, my blog has been nominated for a Liebster Award! This is an award that is given by bloggers, to new bloggers with under 200 followers. Which is me!

Kristin, thank you so much for the nomination & taking time out of Mommyhood to check out my blog!

 

Rules

1. Answer the questions given and then come up with 10 new ones to ask your nominations.

2. Nominate 8 other blogs, let them know you have nominated them and put a link to their blog in your post.

3. No Tag backs.

4. Nominations must have under 200 followers.

5. You must tell all the blogs that you nominate that you have nominated them.

Here are the answers to the questions I was asked:

1. Why did you start blogging? I started blogging to keep my sanity

2.Has it turned out to be what you expected? It’s a lot harder than I thought it would be, but I love it. I love getting comments or emails from people telling me my blog has helped them, inspired them, etc.

3. If you could live one day over again, what day would it be? Hmmm…That’s a tough one. I don’t think I would. The past is the past.

4. What is one thing you do to lift your spirits? Snuggle with my babies

5. What is your favorite all time dessert? My mom’s chocolate pecan pie. It’s to die for.

6. Are you a morning person or a night owl? Morning definitely

7. What did you want to be when you grew up? I grew up in Southern California so naturally I wanted to be an actress

8. What beauty product can you not live without? Lipgloss & lipstick (But let’s be real. There’s about a dozen beauty products I can’t live without)

9. What is something you recently learned? Don’t argue with a 3 ½ year old. You won’t win. Ever.

10. Why should people read your blog? (stealing that one but its a good question) Because I want you to!

So there you have it! Now here are my 8 nominations!

http://momonthemoon.com/

http://lifeoftheaveragemom.blogspot.com/

http://www.simplemanssurvivalguide.com (Yay for Daddy bloggers!)

www.mommysgotissues.com

http://www.bugsdirtandmommy.com/

http://mommymakingitright.blogspot.com/

 http://www.invitingpeace.com/

http://whatwouldmymomsay.com/

Here are your 10 questions! Enjoy

  1. What made you start blogging?
  2. What’s one thing you do to clear your head?
  3. What’s your favorite past time?
  4. What’s your favorite thing to do with your kid/kids?
  5. Are you a morning or night person?
  6. Favorite time of the day to blog?
  7. What’s your favorite food?
  8. What are some of your favorite topics to blog about?
  9. What is something that makes you happy?
  10. Were these questions fun?

I hope you all enjoy! And thanks again to The Perfectionist Mom!

 

The High Heeled Mommy

XoXo

Exciting News!

My site High Heeled Mommy is now being featured on Top Mommy Blogs! It’s a super fun site for all things Mommy! Check it out. It’s been like a bible to me for the last year so I was very excited to find out that my blogs will now be on their site! Holla!! 😉

http://www.topmommyblogs.com/pages/index.php

Oh! And make sure to click the fun looking banner at the bottom of this to keep me lookin’ good on this most awesome site! 🙂

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Depression Is Not Taboo

Let me first start by saying I’m not an expert in this matter. I’m not a doctor or trained psychiatrist. Everything I say is my own thoughts, opinions & personal experiences.

 

Last night the entire world was knocked down to their knees. An icon that most of us grew up watching finally lost his battle to a life long struggle with depression. He was 63 years old, had millions of dollars, all the fame in the world & a loving family. To most of us, we’d all say he had everything, right? Wrong. On the inside he was the complete opposite of the characters we all knew & loved. He was anything but happy & goofy. And that’s what happens when you suffer from depression or any mental illness for that matter…someone suffering looks just like the rest of us. And I think that’s why so many people have a hard time understanding depression. They expect the person to look sick & since they don’t then obviously this illness can’t be that serious. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of American, 40 million adults suffer from anxiety in the United States. Major depressive disorder is the leading disability in the county, effecting 14.8 million people. I’m not going to compare the statistics of other serious illnesses because I’m not trying to take anything away from them, I’m just focusing on this one serious illness. But yes, the numbers do beat out some other major diseases. So with it being so huge, why do people still refuse to consider it to be a “real” illness? Why won’t insurance companies provide better (and ANY in some cases) coverage for people battling this day in & day out?

For me personally, I know more people that currently take an antidepressant than not. All these people look like the rest of us. They all get up everything morning & go to work. All while silently dying inside. People suffering from other sicknesses, & again I’m not going to name any, have days where they are too sick from treatments or medicines. Or they are too weak to get out of bed. So they call into work sick. If someone were to call into their job & say “I’m really depressed today, I can’t make it in” they’d lose their job. Depression doesn’t come with treatments that make it go away. There are medicines of course that can help CONTROL it, but it’ll never go away. It will be a constant battle for that person every single day for the rest of their lives. There’s no remission. There’s no cure.

I went through horrible post partum depression after my second daughter was born. Thankfully it only lasted a year which is the norm for PPD, but it was the worst, hardest & longest year of my life. I was sad, depressed, anxious, alone (even though I wasn’t), lost, empty…dead. Completely dead inside. There truly is no way of explaining the magnitude of it unless you go through it yourself & see it firsthand. To try & bring a little insight to you, mine was so severe the doctors have all advised that I don’t have any more children because PPD comes back with each pregnancy & gets worse & worse. I remember looking at my 2 beautiful, perfect little girls, the life I have, the house I live in, my wonderful family & friends, & still thinking I’d rather die than feel this way. I’d rather leave all this behind just to make this horrible feeling end. Thankfully I stuck it out (trust me, it wasn’t easy), took medicine & prayed for it to work. It did eventually. The loneliness, sadness, etc all eventually went away, but not before being diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from it all. I’m now almost 4 months medicine free & feeling great. Don’t get me wrong, I still have some down & “blah” days as I like to call them. But I’m only human.

At first I was embarrassed to tell anyone what was going on with me & most people didn’t know how to handle it. My husband took it the hardest. He didn’t know what to do or say or how to approach the situation at all. After some time I realized there is nothing to be embarrassed about. I didn’t choose this. There was nothing I did that brought it on. It’s a chemical imbalance in your brain.

2 weeks before Robin Williams killed myself, he posted a throwback picture of him & his youngest baby on Twitter. It was in honor of her 25th birthday. He clearly was a man that loved his 3 children. But even the thought of never seeing them again, or them seeing their dad again could help him. His disease was bigger than him. Like a good friend of mine puts it, “you better pray that your demons inside never awake, because once they do…good luck.” Depression is not something you have control over. The most important thing is that if you’re sad you need to tell someone immediately. Don’t be embarrassed or ashamed. This is an illness, not a character flaw.

Don’t tell someone who is depressed to “smile” or “think happy thoughts.” And never tell them to “snap out of it.” It’s not like a light switch that can be shut off & on any time we feel. Trust me, we would love to smile & think happy thoughts, but it is physically impossible when someone is in the middle of a depressive episode. Hopefully losing Mrs. Doubtfire will open peoples eye into this disease.

“Genie. You’re free.”

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