What I’ve Learned From Having Kid

   First off, you learn VERY quickly it’s hard work. Like run a full marathon then immediately climb Mount Everest, hard. Some days are smooth sailing, other days will absolutely suck. And it’s ok to say it. Being a mother can suck sometimes. You have to watch your kids be sick or get hurt & that sucks. You wish you could take away their pain, but you can’t. You have to watch them get their feelings hurt & that sucks too, especially if it’s YOU hurting their feelings, but it’s necessary from time to time. “You just pushed your sister down & made her cry, so now I have to yell & punish you”, which of course will make them upset, but unless you want your kids to turn out like self entitled little brats, being the bad guy every now & then is essential. And it’s ok. They’ll forgive you probably quicker than you’ll forgive yourself.

            Another thing I’ve learned is that you will repeat yourself so many times in one day you will begin to question your own sanity. “Am I talking to a wall?” “Does anyone listen to me?” “Why do I even bother?” Well, yes you are basically talking to a wall & no, chances are they are not listening to you. Not until you tell them you have ice cream or cookies, and then they never miss a syllable…My children must get their selective hearing from their father. Some days I think my 3 year old ignores me as a way to push my buttons…she’s really, REALLY good at it. Then I stop & look at her & realize maybe she’s not intentionally ignoring me. She’s 3. She’s learning new vocabulary, learning how to count past 20, figuring out the world for herself. She’s too busy to hear me. Her mind is full of a million different things right now. So I try to pick my battles.

And yes, your kid WILL be THAT kid in a store or restaurant that is screaming…throwing a fit as if they were being possessed. And chances are, at some point you might even pretend like you have no clue who these children belong to. They will kick & scream as you try to get them to calm down, or even scream “Mommy, don’t pull my hair. That’s mean” when you weren’t anywhere near them, but it makes everyone in the store grab their phones from their pockets ready to call DSS on you. (yes, my 3 year old pulled the hair thing with me in a very busy Target once). They will push your buttons in every way possible again & again.

You will no longer spend hours a day glamming yourself up. You’ll be lucky to get a shower in AND dry your hair. Your gorgeous stilettos will start to collect dust in your closet because you can’t chase a kid in 6 inch heels. And yes, you will constantly be chasing them. Keeping them from running off in the opposite direction in a store, or keeping them from eating the dog food (both my kids), keeping them from climbing the furniture…you get the picture. Invest in some flat comfy shoes & save the fancy ones for date night with hubby…if & when you actually get one because those will also be a thing of the past.

You won’t see your friends as much anymore, especially the ones without kids. Your own children are now your best friends. Eventually you’ll have more inside jokes with your toddler than you will your girlfriends. You may also find yourself trading in your sports car for a much more “family friendly” vehicle. I’ve always said I wouldn’t be that mom that drives a mini van…and I still don’t. I have however upgraded to a big SUV that fits carseats, diaper bags, groceries, & the dogs all at once. I’ll be honest though, I find myself getting a little jealous of the Moms driving those mini vans. Have you seen those things lately? The doors SLIDE open with just the push of a button! And most come equipped with built in TV’s (you will also learn that those are a staple in the car, trust me).

Even though it may seem like motherhood sucks ass some days, you very quickly learn it’s the worst kind of suck in the world. Messy hair, no make up, orthopedic shoes, & mini vans aside, being a Mom is the greatest, most rewarding experience ever. You learn that shit happens (literally), things spill…everywhere, but it can be cleaned up. They will draw all over the walls & be so proud of it, all you need is some white toothpaste & it’ll come off in seconds (you learn lots of little tricks like that along the way). They will break your favorite picture frame, but I promise the memories in that picture are way more important than a broken piece of glass. Your house will be a mess, dishes will fill the sink even if you have a dishwasher & the laundry will literally begin to form its own mountain, BUT that’s ok, that just means you’re busy being a good Mom. It’s ok to go in the bathroom & cry for 5 minutes when you’re really stressed out. It’s ok to go an extra day & skip tub time. It’s ok to order pizza because you don’t feel like cooking & I can guarantee you that at some point your “mom car” will find its way in the drive thru at a fast food joint. And when your kid swears for the first time, it will be funny. Not something we’d like to repeat, but funny.

What I’ve learned from being a Mom is that most of what I’ve learned is actually from my kids. They’ve taught me a love I never knew existed. They’ve taught me patience that would put a saint down. But most importantly, they’ve taught me that even in my most frazzled, stressed out, smeared make up state, I am still loved & needed 110%. Without ME they wouldn’t be able to do much. Without ME they wouldn’t have the crayons to write on the walls, the cookies to hide under the couch cushions, or the toys to throw at their younger sibling. Without me there is no them…But without them I would be absolutely nothing & that is the most important thing I’ve learned from having kids.